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Relationships

The Power of Love

dec-2008-preview

Relationships provide opportunities to reconnect with the Divine, reflecting back not only our divinity, but also wounds needing to be healed

By Tammy Mastroberte

No matter who we are or what part of the world we’re from, we all long for connection—to ourselves, our family and our friends—but also a deeper, more intimate connection with another human being. It’s through this deeper connection where the true magic happens.

We need to find partnerships so we can see God in another person and see our own divinity mirrored back to us, said Colette Baron-Reid, intuitive counselor and author of books such as her latest Messages from Spirit: The Extraordinary Power of Oracles, Omens and Signs, in a Sept. 10 online seminar called The Mirror of Love: How to Enhance Your Relationships and Power of Attraction, produced by Hay House Radio.

Relationships are also meant to show us our wounds in order to heal. True romantic partnerships or soul mates cause us to look deep within ourselves to see what in ourselves keeps us separate from Source [or God, or the Divine], Baron-Reid explained, noting soul mates are not just the one personin our lifetime. We have many soul mates within one lifetime, which come to help us evolve, and at times can be super painful as well as nurturing, she said.

When you fall in love, you do so at the soul level, where we are faced with our own perfection held up like a mirror in the other person, she explained. We see our connection to the Divine. But then the work starts!

After the divinity, we start to see ourselves in the other person and vice versa, but we don’t always like what we see. However, we need to understand we are still looking at a reflection of ourselves.

We have an unknowable contract between our soul and the soul of another, and each relationship is meant to reflect the wounds we have experienced. This person was called by your soul to heal the wound, she said. We will attract abusers if we have been abused.

In fact, many of us seem to attract the same person in different bodies, but this repetition is a sign you haven’t healed what has hurt, she said. Every time we heal, we bring healing to the world, and even if a partnership is painful, it leads to growth.

Regardless of sexual orientation, human beings are made to be in a romantic partnership, and there are greater reasons why we desire romantic relationships than biology, according to Baron-Reid.

It’s about perception, not about biology. It’s about finding the mirror of your heart, she said.

We are misled to believe human beings are separate individuals with a soul, and are taught the mind and soul are in the head. However, we actually share the same space, according to Baron-Reid, who invited listeners to see it another way.

What if the soul contained the body? she asked. Imagine the soul is this larger being and consciousness is not located inside the being, but the mind is only a receptor for it.

We migrate in soul groups, and while an individual spark incarnates into the body, our individual soul is still connected to every other soul. We originally see ourselves as separate from everyone else, and the ego develops to individualize us and maintain the sense of separation, but the purpose of life is toremember we are spiritual beings having a human experience, she explained.

Human life is an experience spent looking for unity. First, people find it in their family and then in intimate relationships, but overall, every person is trying to find his or her way back to God, she explained. Our souls call us to one another to get over the separation.

GETTING RID OF GOBLINS

Some people call it the Shadow and others refer to it as the Dark Side. Baron-Reid calls it the Goblin. This is the part of ourselves we have disowned. It holds our fears, low self-worth and all the things we don’t want to own up to in our life. It’s often, what you can’t stand about someone else. It’s a mirror of you, she said.

When it comes to relationships, the Goblin takes on motivator archetypes, or personalities, and one or two are strong, while the rest operate to a smaller extent, Baron-Reid noted.

The Goblin’s job is not to hurt you. It is trying to protect you from being exposed. It is part of the ego expression that leads you back to God, she said, noting these are ways we sabotage ourselves. The 12 types are as follows:

  • The Judge – looks for flaws and is cynical. This is symptoms of low self-worth or arrogance.
  • The Controller – needs to be the leader at all times, and has trouble hearing other ideas. It is fear-based and comes from a fear of abandonment.
  • The Pleaser – co-dependent and will do whatever the other person wants and then resent it. It is a lack of clear identity. What can I do so you love me?
  • The Rescuer – a distortion of the healer. They need someone to be less than they are so they can fix them or help them, and then they can feel better about themselves.
  • The Victim – needs to be known as violated in order to not move forward. Attracts attention. Totally fear-based. Manipulative. Suffers from repressed fear and rage.
  • The Invader – will hurt you before you get to hurt them. They look for your weak spot because they are terrified of abandonment. They operate all from ego and from repressed fear and rage.
  • The Prostitute  as women we prostitute ourselves when we try to stay
    young as we age.
     Prostitutes are willing to give up integrity for the process of love.
  • The Manipulator – never say what they mean; disrespectful because they are a liar.
  • The Debater – uses language to diminish another. They are both fear-based and self-centered.
  • The Gypsy – cannot commit. Fears exposure through intimacy.
  • The Drama Queen – everything is stress. It is all nothing more than a distraction.
  • The Addict – continues to do something over and over expecting different results. In a constant state of denial. This is the most difficult because it embodies all the others. This can happen when you don’t practice detachment.

In relationships, we need to learn to put the Goblins to sleep or we will continue to attract our mirror of them. The Goblin can’t have a relationship with anyone else but another Goblin. You need to evolve beyond the Goblin back to spirit, Baron-Reid said.

USEFUL TOOLS

During the live online seminar, which is available for purchase on-demand at http://www.hayhouseradio.com/, Baron-Reid walked listeners through two visualization exercises to forgive past relationships and let go in order to move on. She also provided valuable tools and exercises for people looking for a new relationship, as well as those looking to improve one they are already involved in.

One of these tools is to take what she called inventory, of past relationships. This exercise will help uncover and remove the blocks from attracting a loving relationship. Ask yourself what happened, and start with the first intimate relationship you ever had, she advised. What attracted you to that person, and what were you repelled by? What did they do? How did you react, or what did you do in return? How did it make you feel?

Once you have done an inventory of your intimate relationships, your feelings and emotions will be keys to unlocking your blocks, she stated.

Another tool is a dream board. Since visual images are very powerful, Baron-Reid recommends creating a dream board specifically for relationships. Write words on it such as happy, deserving, appreciated, resonance, energy, health attraction. View a video on how to make one at her Web site,http://www.collettebaronreid.com/, by joining the members’ lounge for free.

A similar tool is called a God Box, which is a box to put letters you write to God, a guardian angel or even to a potential soul mate. She recommended
making a list of qualities you admire in a romantic partner.

You have to be the love you need in order to receive it, she said. Practice love. Give love where you can. Get a pet. You are more likely to attract a soul mate because you are not afraid to let love flow through you. EE