Where in the World Is My Soul Mate?

By Amy Leigh Mercree

Single, spiritual, kind, caring, evolved, trustworthy, fun – those were some of the qualities I searched for in a potential partner. After 14 years of searching, I was tired.  My search yielded plenty of guys who had some of those qualities, but not my guy.  Not my true love and true partner.

So… I took a dating sabbatical. For one year, I focused on me. What did I want to do? How did I want to live? Complete autonomy. And I loved it. I truly did. Sure, sometimes I felt lonely, but I am blessed with amazing friends and family so it was always short lived.

The most powerful thing I did during that time was regularly infuse my being with pure white light. Life force. My health flourished. My creativity bloomed. Everything raised in vibratory frequency, and I was as patient as I could be.

Then one night I dreamed of a man made of the same pure white light. I knew it was him. I went to work clearing any old issues, healed family relationships that needed it, and when he arrived, I was ready.

Being proactive and doing all of the healing and preparing is crucial, but the one thing we can’t consciously manipulate is timing. Timing is divine. It springs from universal energy and is self-regulating and self-correcting. For people looking for deep, spiritual love that is 100 percent honoring, the timing must be right.

Here are three tips to help divine timing along:

1.Raise Your Vibration
The more clear and bright your vibratory frequency, the more easily you will draw in other high-vibe people, including your partner. Plus, with clarity and a radiant light shining from you, your intentions will be much more clear to the universe. Then you can take action to bring them to reality.

Exercise: The Waving White Sheet
Here is a quick and easy way to raise your vibration: Sit with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. Envision a sheet of pure, bright, white light. Watch it wave in a gentle unseen breeze. Draw the sheet forth into the room before you. See it shine brightly. Raise your hands and say aloud to the sheet: “You are joy and light.”  Watch it wave with its new vibratory flavor. Now, draw it into your body and feel it wave through you. Sit with that and when you are ready, allow it to assimilate into your bodily tissue, bones, and systems.

2.Be Sacred
You are sacred! The sooner you integrate that truth into your being, the sooner you will experience deep, soul mate love with an evolved and conscious partner. You must see yourself as sacred and your partner as sacred to have a truly healthy, spiritual partnership. Sacred means special, precious and a treasure of true beauty. It is not meant here religiously. Your evolved, true love must see him or herself as sacred and you as sacred. This is the foundation for deep, satisfying, soul mate love. Embrace it and don’t settle for anything less!

Exercise: Simple Sacredness Activity
Create a poster that says: “I am sacred.” Decorate it with things you love and that represent you. If you love music, put pictures of notes and sheet music.  Use your favorite colors and textures and create a representation of your wonderfulness. Hang this poster over you bed and each morning and night say aloud, “I am sacred.” Program your cells with that truth. Notice how you feel when you say it. Integrate that feeling into your daily life.

3. Soul Mates are All Around
Don’t miss the soul mates all around you! Be present to your life and all of the beauty already within it. See your many soul mates: your best friend, certain family members, even people you work with. Soul mates are people we have an instant affinity for and an effortless connection blooms easily. Count your blessings every day and be truly grateful for the soul mates you have. That primes the pump for divine timing combined with action steps to deliver your true love, exactly on time.

amy leigh mercree - spiritual datingAmy Leigh Mercree is an expert dating & relationship coach, entrepreneur, adventure guide and internationally acclaimed author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, and Soul Mates.” This June, Mercree is teaching “Spiritual Romance: Reawakening the Sacred in Your Love Life,” at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY.  See more information on the seminar here. And visit her Web site www.spiritualgirlsguide.com for you complete evolved dater’s toolkit!

Mirror, Mirror: The Shadow Self & Dating

By Amy Leigh Mercree

Many of us on a spiritual path focus on living love and forgiveness as best as we can, but we run into some issues with standing up for ourselves. We know forgiving is best for the soul. But what if your ex cheated and fathered several kids (not with you) while you were together? What if your current girlfriend makes fun of you in front of her friends? When do we put on the boxing gloves and stand up for ourselves? And if we do, are we still spiritual people?

Living love is a journey ripe with growth in each moment. We try our hardest to forgive. We mediate to be more Zen when someone cuts us in line. But we live in a dualistic world. One where everything exists – from the most joyous and light filled to the darkest and most dense.

We are all forever seeking balance in our own ways, and our world offers us an amazing array of mirrors for the parts of our selves we don’t like or feel uncomfortable about. But we can take the reigns and integrate those parts of ourselves so they don’t show up as people in our lives who push our buttons – and especially so they don’t show up as our spouses or dates.

Understanding the Shadow
Your “shadow” self is the part of you that stays hidden away for nobody to see. Occasionally, you might catch a glimpse of it, in a moment of partially suppressed rage, or stark loneliness. The shadow is a very personal aspect of the total self. It’s everything you find unpalatable, unattractive or socially unacceptable that is a part of you no matter how deeply it is buried within.

Your shadow can be scary, for it contains all that you fear, especially about yourself – your inner malice, manipulations, jealousy, envy and madness. It’s the sad little child hiding in the corner after being rejected, and it’s the bully on the playground who terrorizes others. It’s the power hungry monster within, and it’s the helpless supplicant victim. Your shadow is everything you can’t control – your very own, personal inner chaos.

Gaia, the earth mother, saw beauty and potential on this planet orbiting our sun, and she made it her home. Out of the prehistoric chaos of volcanic eruptions and earthquakes, peppered with almost constant meteor showers, life was born. In coming here, she was aware of the struggle for balance that would occur, as this is natural law.

As her children, before incarnating here, we too were aware of the beauty of balance, of light and dark, of the beautiful dance, whose essence is chaos. As the reflections of Gaia, we all dance the sacred dance to manifest balance, no matter how we incarnate.

When we bury, or repress aspects of ourselves, they will manifest or “act out” like wayward children. This can occur on many levels. For example, our shadows can manifest in the form of other people who wrong us, as they hold up a mirror to help us more clearly see ourselves.

As beings gaining cosmic consciousness at a critical time in the planets evolution, an opportunity exists to take responsibility for our shadows. This means integrating our own personal shadows to the best of our abilities so less energy is available for manifestations of darkness.

In the constant movement towards balance, if there is less repressed shadow energy being held by the beings of the earth, then there is less of a need for events and situations we cannot ignore, to make us stand, and take notice of our shadows. Doing this integrative work raises vibration on an individual level, and raises the vibration of the planet.

Here is an exercise to help integrate your shadow:

Shadow Integration Activity
Gather your courage and faith around you like a sky blanket, and use this process to integrate your own shadow only. This is individual work that is best done consciously. Do not do this for others, as they too must take responsibility for their shadow selves.

Go within your heart space, and see yourself standing in a temple at the center of your heart chamber. Notice the surroundings, and walk over to the alter in the center of the temple. If it is bare, cover it with things that bring you joy, such as flowers, tropical fruits, minerals, pictures, artwork, statues of deities or songs.

Then stand tall, proud and strong. Raise your spirit arms above your head in the temple as you stand physically at home or out in nature and do the same. Speak the following out loud with clarity of intention.

“I call all aspects of my Self to the center of my heart chamber. All are welcome in the temple, You will be received with love. My shadow, hear my call. It is time to integrate shadow self, shadow self, shadow self.”

See your shadow stand before you in the center of your heart temple. Do not judge it.

Look it straight in the eye. Know it. Feel white light or love emanate from your spirit self, and from your hands and heart and eyes. Love your shadow.

Allow balance to enter your soul structure and permeate your being. Offer your shadow a home in your heart temple. Perceive the wholeness that stems from shadow integration. Feel the oneness in welcoming all that you are into the center of the temple of your heart.

Use this process as often as you would like. Know you have made a difference in the world by the responsibility you took, and the light you magnetized. Your relationships will be lighter and you will have no need to bring mirrors of your shadow into your life as dates.

Amy Leigh Mercree is an expert dating & relationship coach, entrepreneur, adventure guide and author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, and Soul Mates.” Visit her adventure travel site, www.LoveSeaVacations.com for eco & dolphin travel fun and visit www.SpiritualGirlsGuide.com for your complete conscious dater’s toolkit. Follow her on Twitter: @AmyLeighMercree


A Life-Changing Valentine’s Day Reboot

By Amy Leigh Mercree

I’m sure you’ve heard all of the varying opinions on V-Day: consumerism gone mad, schmaltzy holiday for romantics, obligatory flowers and chocolates day, and even an exciting chance to spend time with the one you love. What if we let those opinions float to the side and chose to completely reboot our lives this Valentine’s Day? What if we did a total Valentine’s Day Reboot?

This February, let’s do a complete 180! Let’s reclaim Valentine’s Day as a true celebration of love in all of its forms. Cause as the saying goes, “Love is all around us.”  Make a commitment today to see and experience love at least once per hour. Try it for a day. Notice the love with which a co-worker holds the door for you with a smile. Notice the love between the couple in the car next to you that kisses at the stoplight. Notice people connecting with each other. Notice caring in action all around. Put your focus on love and change your life. I dare you.

Look for the truth and authenticity in love. Judgments aren’t truths. Self consciousness is not truth. Wanting to act and appear a certain way because of social decorum is not necessarily truth. These are all born of fear and insecurity. Fear is the opposite of love, and you can flip your fears on their head and turn them into love. Insecurity is being scared of your authentic self. It is the belief that your true, authentic self is not as magnificent as it actually is. Flip that insecurity on its head and do something totally gutsy, totally loving and feel the relief in that. Share your true feelings. Express your love for family, friends, pets and life.

Let life revive you with spiritual and emotional CPR this month. Sometimes people come into your life for just that reason. We meet those soul-connected people at the perfect times. Whether it’s the friend who you get together with who renewed your faith in the opposite gender because he is decent and kind, or she honest and caring. Or it is the boss who believes in you and gives you a chance to leap into the big leagues because of your creativity.  It could even be the loving dog who snuggles you and licks your face because she is so happy to see you every single time you come home.

We’re emotional beings. When we embrace this we can open to deeper experiences of love and connection and literally enhance our quality of life. Our connections and the love they are made of may even be part of why we are here. These connections might help us solve our existential crises, and learn to be present to the amazing blessing of being here on Earth among billions of our other souls as an interconnected web of love — because in the end we are all one. And what if Valentine’s Day could be about that – about love and its endless expression?

What better way to celebrate authentic love than to give it? Make a list of five ways you can share your love with others today. The more you give, the more love flows back to you. The more you share, the more you reap. The more you choose to live love, the better and more pleasurable life you will lead. Try it today. And ruminate (wink) on these words to start your reboot:

Love came,

and became like blood in my body.

It rushed through my veins and

encircled my heart.

Everywhere I looked,

I saw one thing.

Love’s name written

on my limbs,

on my left palm,

on my forehead,

on the back of my neck,

on my right big toe…

Oh, my friend,

all that you see of me

is just a shell,

and the rest belongs to love.


Rumi poem from Shahram Shiva’s book

Hush Don’t Say Anything to God: Passionate Poems of Rumi

(Jain Publishing)

Amy Leigh Mercree is an expert dating & relationship coach, entrepreneur, adventure guide and author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, and Soul Mates.” Visit her adventure travel site, www.LoveSeaVacations.com for eco & dolphin travel fun and visit www.SpiritualGirlsGuide.com for your complete conscious dater’s toolkit.



Self-Nurturing: The Key to Holiday Harmony

By Amy Leigh Mercree

For many of us, snow is falling and holiday cheer abounds, but what do you do if the season of celebration leaves you feeling flat and empty? Does the thought of more small talk at parties, and finding a New Year’s Eve date make you cringe and want to hibernate? You’re not alone! If you asked your friends their real feelings about this season some people would express emotions of obligation and wariness at the busy schedule, often imposed by well-meaning family and friends.

So how can we find a balance this season and give ourselves the message that we are worth having an enjoyable, joyful, relaxing time – and also take action to make that happen? A few simple changes in thinking and a couple self-nurturing actions will make a massive difference in your experience of the holidays.

First, ask yourself, “What does the holiday season mean to me?” Really delve into that. It might mean time off from work where you want to relax and have fun. It might signify spiritual renewal or have poignant religious significance for you.

Next ask yourself, “What holiday rituals are fun and meaningful for me?” This could be when just your immediate family lights the menorah together or decorates the tree. It could also be the couple hours you set aside to go surfing before family celebrations begin. Look at what part of those experiences really fuels you and prioritize that in your plans.

Lastly, ask yourself, “What do I wish I could do?” Go to Tahiti? Hibernate in a bubble bath with a romance series? Play touch football with my most relaxed friends? Go out for sushi? While you might not have the time or money for a Tahiti trip this year, you could set that as a five- or 10-year goal, and you could certainly carve out the time for bubble baths, a football game or sushi if you made your enjoyment a priority.

Why should your enjoyment a priority? Because you are an amazing, sacred, beautiful treasure just as you are!  And you matter. 

You must be the one to assert your importance in your life. It is important that you have fun. It is important that you are rejuvenated. It is important you get to relax this season if that is what you need.

Dating and Love
Everyone wants to throw dating in the mix at holiday time. You will see messages all over the media this season of mistletoe, romantic snow covered moments, and the mythical kiss at the stroke of midnight from fairy tales being enacted on New Year’s Eve. The reality of holiday time is many people are harried and rushed and trying to find meaning amid a storm of consumerism. So what if you just choose to be open to the heart energy that does get stoked at this time of year? What if you just let that flame warm you and allowed life to bring you whatever is for your highest good? How would that feel? Would that ease a pressure within?

If family members ask you about your love life, what if you said, “I am blissfully in love with myself, thank you for asking,” with a huge smile on your face?

Here is my “Survival Kit For the Holidays.” Do these things and you will be relaxed, centered, and happy this season!

1)  Be kind. Firstly, to yourself. No negative self-talk, no admonishments for forgetting to send out cards. Just kindness in everything you say to yourself. And be kind to others 100-percent of the time  Even when you are in the slowest line on the planet at the grocery store, practice serenity and be kind to the cashier instead of impatient and grouchy.

2)  Open your heart to love. And that is it. Have no expectation about dates and such this time of year. Just give yourself a pass. Simply open your heart to the love from your nieces, nephews, pets, friends and grandma, and focus relentlessly on that love.  Share your love. Say, “I love you,” to every family member and friend this season and deliver the words with a big hug and watch people soften and tension ease before your eyes.

3)  Create and uphold at least two self-nurturing rituals on crucial days in your season.  For example, for many years I have had a delicious Christmas morning breakfast in bed. When I was single, I would get up and make my waffles with berries and cream, and then bring them back to bed on a pretty tray that morning before turning the ringer on the phone back on. Now that I’m married I do the same thing, but my husband gets to enjoy the breakfast in bed too! You could have a favorite Christmas movie you wrap presents to on Christmas Eve while enjoying hot chocolate after giving yourself a peppermint oil foot massage. Or a home spa day on December 26th that is non-negotiable. You get the idea!

You have the power to nurture yourself, care for yourself, and through that focus, open your heart to real love. Then you will find yourself spiritually dating!

Happy season of self nurturing!

Amy Leigh Mercree is the author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, & Soul Mates,” a Spiritual Dating & Relationship Coach, and a Medical Intuitive. For more fun articles and her dating advice column visit her blog and website:www.spiritualgirlsguide.com.


Etheric Sex & Owning Your Space

By Amy Leigh Mercree

When a sexual connection is strong between two people, etheric sex can happen. It is energetic sex — that is, sex with our spirits. Most commonly it happens with intention and conscious knowledge of one another. In those cases, couples who are apart connect energetically and emotionally through the medium of love. Their love for one another flows and etheric lovemaking can occur.

You can imagine it like angelic beings might make love. The human body can feel this in the usual physical ways or in more energetic ways, like pulsing energy and tingling sensations.

Rarely, etheric sex can occur between people who have yet to meet or have only met briefly. This is something under the jurisdiction of the two people’s Higher Selves. And in these cases Natural Law is very important to remember: Helping All, Harming None. Etheric sex must be completely consensual, otherwise it is a psychic attack of a very damaging kind. Attempted forced etheric sex is like an energetic assault.

However, something like this can only happen if you allow it on some level. If you clearly own your space, you fill your own auric field up and there are no openings or little holes for someone to try to get in, then no one can ever try to force any kind of energetic interaction on you whether you are aware of it or not. Remember, you own your space. You fill your being and the area surrounding you with your energy.

To affirm this you can state, “I own my space.”  When doing so, feel your energy fill your body and the area around in a sphere about five feet out in all directions. You can easily protect yourself from psychic attack. You are safe, by owning your space. Your ex, for example, can’t force you to have etheric sex. The creepy guy you met also cannot hurt you etherically. You are strong and full of power. You own your space.

Real etheric sex grows out of two people’s higher selves loving each other. So, people who believe they are having etheric sex with someone who does not want to have it with them are not having etheric sex. They are having sex with a projected fantasy of their own making — completely separate from the actual person. In essence, with a part of themselves they are representing in the image of this other person. The other person is not impacted by this at all, especially if they consciously own their space.

It is important we are conscious about our actions as well. Fantasy with a “hologram” of someone we are attracted to is fine. In that case we are acknowledging he is not really with us. We are just attracted to him or what he represents for us. Go ahead and think about George Clooney or whomever floats your boat.

On the other hand, anything more energetically potent towards, for example, an ex who dumped us, is unacceptable. How do you tell the difference?  Intention. With a harmless Clooney fantasy, your intention has nothing to do with him. It is about you feeling turned on and the actual guy or his energy body have nothing to do with it.

In the case of the ex who dumped you, your intention may be on any level from conscious to unconscious to influence the real him to feel your connection and exchange energy with you and possibly get back together. If you did this, no good can come of it. He might feel trauma from it, if he is aware of it. You would fare worse. Remember the part of natural law that states, everything you put out you receive back threefold? It’s the way the universe works. It is self-correcting. If there is any grey area about the fantasy, choose someone else, someone you’ve never met for example.

Etheric sex between two people’s Higher Selves grows out of love. Etheric Sex is best used to deepen connection between existing long-term, monogamous partners. And of course, having etheric sex is just like having regular sex, if you are married or in a monogamous relationship, ethically you may only have it with your partner.

Amy Leigh Mercree is the author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, & Soul Mates,” a Spiritual Dating & Relationship Coach, and a Medical Intuitive. For more fun articles and her dating advice column visit her blog and website:www.spiritualgirlsguide.com.

September Self-Love

By Amy Leigh Mercree

How many of us have less than stellar memories of the first day of school? The odds are at some time in our lives, we had a bad opening school day. Whether we were made fun of for our fashion choices (me), or didn’t feel like we had any friends (also me), or had trouble at home clouding our day. We may have not felt fully supported, nurtured or safe.

Children and teens everywhere are heading back to the classroom. You can use it as an opportunity to reprogram any past trauma associated with going back to school, back to structure, and losing the freedom of summer. One simple, potent and miraculous cure will soothe and heal any old hurts: Self-Love.

Self-love is a pervasive acceptance of who you are. It’s believing in your true core that you are alright – that you ‘re worthy and special. Self Love is also making a commitment to treat yourself with loving kindness and working at that skill. Loving kindness toward yourself gives your body, mind and heart the clear message that you are important, worthy and valuable. When we steep ourselves in self-love, our bodies’ may heal, our hearts will lighten and begin to feel safe, our minds can relax, and our spirits will feel free to soar.

Right now, ask yourself the following question and just let the first thing that pops into your mind be your answer: What is the most important thing in your life you must change to demonstrate your love for yourself, to yourself?

Your actions give your body loud, potent messages. In your love life, if you are not loving yourself and accepting nothing less than kind, loving treatment from a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, you are literally giving your body a negative message. This is multifold. It’s energetic. It’s emotional. It’s physical. And it can wear away on your spirit and inspire you to leak vital life force in a way that is detrimental to your health.

A client accepted hostile treatment from her boyfriend for too long and said nothing.  She came down with a throat-based illness that completely and totally cleared up when she broke up with him and ejected him from her life. In our treatment together, she realized she needed to demonstrate some major self-love to herself to even have the option of feeling emotionally safe in a relationship again.

Here are some ways to love you today!

1) When making a life choice, consider your heart. What choice would make it soar?  Do that!

2) Tell yourself, in the mirror, “I love you. I love myself.  I love ______ (insert your first name).” Try it for one week, every morning and night. You will be amazed at the difference in how you feel.

3) Listen to your needs and take action to fill them. Make this a top priority.

4) In your love life, let every choice be an extension of your love for yourself. If a choice doesn’t honor you, don’t make it. Put your health and happiness first.

5) Feed your spirit. Sit in a meditative posture and take a few moments to hug yourself while doing deep, gentle breathing. Feel your heart and use the mantra

“love” repeating it every few minute to focus on love for self, love for nature, love for the universe. Open a little bit more each time to love and feel the love the Divine has for you. It’s unconditional. Absorb it. Let it fill your body and expand within you and commit to giving that same unconditional love to yourself daily.

This September bring your focus to self-love and feel any old hurts melt away as you wash them with deep, encompassing self-love.

Amy Leigh Mercree is the author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, & Soul Mates,” a Spiritual Dating & Relationship Coach, and a Medical Intuitive. For more fun articles and her dating advice column visit her blog and website:www.spiritualgirlsguide.com.