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Spiritual Dating: Declare Your Independence From Inauthenticity

By Amy Leigh Mercree

Too often, dating today means being someone who you aren’t. You mold yourself to fit with your date and their interests, values and desires all the while denying the authentic person that lurks within. Most of the time, this is a subtle change in how you act, what you choose to do or even how you talk. But this approach is not only unsatisfying and unhealthy, it’s also the least effective approach if your objective is to find lasting love with a compatible partner.

Enter Spiritual Dating: dating as if all life is sacred. This month declare your independence from inauthenticity and be the real you! The three R’s of authenticity will guide your way.

Real love comes from real connection. For real connection to be born both people have to reveal their authentic selves in greater and greater increments over the course of dating. Do this in manageable ways that feel safe like only saying you like a type of music or movie if you truly do. Be the REAL you with courage and confidence. You are a treasure and the right dating partner will easily see your radiance!

Rare and authentically wonderful people do exist! Spot them by boosting your discernment and intuition. Developing discernment takes confidence in yourself and a commitment to listen to your intuition. Self-observation also helps. Notice how you react and feel around certain people. The flutter in your chest plus a slight sense of being off-balance you felt with the boyfriend who ended up being unsupportive and using drugs may be the signal to watch for next time. Use your knowledge of your emotional and physical sensations to your advantage. Choose to discern the reality of situations.

Your intuition is already there inside of you and ready to roll. Notice your gut feelings, your first impressions. If you get the sense from a visceral place that someone is really kind, caring and nice, they probably are. Follow up by observing. Do they act that way in all or most situations?  Use your discernment and intuition to sense the rare, special people with whom you may be compatible. These will be your authentic partners who can meet your authenticity with their own truth and create the refreshing cocktail of an honest relationship.

Refreshing treats in the dating world are: fun, easy, totally non-awkward conversations and dates. Try to create that for yourself on dates by being yourself and having a light, sparkling joyful quality to your life, and therefore your dates. Don’t put up pretenses and false fronts. Instead share your truth. Whether you are the ultimate girly girl, a die-hard tomboy, a militant vegan, or the poster child for the steak of the month club, there are plenty of people who can appreciate and enjoy your true self. Be your refreshingly real authentic self! That kind of confidence is captivating and your dates will respond, especially if they are the right person for you. Let that confidence extend into the types of activities you do in your life and on your dates.  Try new things and create a life that is authentic and filled with your own personal brand of joy; then great authentic dates with be the icing on the cake!

Amy Leigh Mercree is the author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, & Soul Mates, a Spiritual Dating & Relationship Coach, and a Medical Intuitive. For more fun articles and her dating advice column visit her blog and website: www.spiritualgirlsguide.com.



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