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Law of Attraction: You Get What You Give

By Sherry Winn

I heard a heartbreaking story the other day about parents who disowned their daughter because she came out to them as a lesbian. Their religious beliefs held that being a homosexual was a sin, so they chose not to love the “sin” of their daughter. To them, it also meant they couldn’t love their daughter.

I include this story not to determine who is right or wrong. It is not about the rightness. It is about the choice of love and the choice of judgment.

Why is this important in the law of attraction?

What does it feel like when love is removed from your life? Take a moment to reflect on how that feels. Can you remember a partner deserting you, a parent withholding affection, or the loss of beloved pet? When you think back on that loss, what do you feel?

  • Anger?
  • The desire for justice?
  • Abandoned?
  • Unworthy?
  • A hole in your heart?

If you sit in silence and allow yourself to move through that experience, does it feel like an old story absent of emotion? Or does it still hold some negative vibrations within you? If you can tell the story without your stomach getting queasy, your heart aching, or tension in your shoulders, then you have left the story behind you. If you still have a body part or emotion attached to the story, you have not given yourself permission to move beyond it.

When you hold the absence of love within you, you are holding negative vibrations. You are not permitting the greatest source of energy to flow through you. Positive vibrations are necessary to attract more of the things you love.

It is easy to believe we can love some people and hate others — that there is some line we can draw between love and hate as if this invisible barrier makes us immune to the negative vibrations of hate. It is okay to hate others who are bad. Right?

There is a quote from “A Course in Miracles,” which states:

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see in him, you will also see in yourself. As you treat him, you will also treat yourself.”

We cannot separate the emotion we feel for others from ourselves. When we offer hatred, disgust, revulsion, misunderstanding or judgment toward others, it does not somehow jump on them and leave us. We are left with the residue of those emotions. We harbor them. What we think we give to another is, in fact, what we offer ourselves.

The law of attraction is about vibrations — positive, free-flowing vibrations. If you want to attract love, but withhold love, are you offering both a positive and a negative vibration in the same moment? Are you contradicting yourself? In truth, you are pulling in opposite directions and wanting one side to win.

The question to ask yourself is: What side do I want to win? The side which withholds love from another because I do not understand or agree with him, or the side of me which believes I am worthy of unconditional love even though I cannot give it?

Maybe you judged the parents who disowned their daughter because they wanted to honor their religious beliefs. Or maybe you judged the daughter who is a lesbian. It is not the question of who you judged. It is the question of how the judgment feels within you.

When you judge another, what are you judging about yourself? And how does that judgment feel?

It is the feeling that determines your ability to attract. The more negative vibrations you have within you, the harder it is to attract what you desire. How do you learn to be more loving and nonjudgmental? This is a lifelong quest, but you can begin with simple steps:

  1. Become aware of how the emotions you are emitting feel inside you.
  2. Practice saying, “I love you” to yourself.
  3. Engage in the art of empathy.
  4. Recognize judgments as they come and release them.
  5. Align yourself with people who are on a quest of personal development.

The law of attraction is the law of positive vibrations. By learning to love more and judge less, you are aligning yourself with greater opportunities.

Sherry Winn - The Law of AttractionSherry Winn is an author, EFT Practitioner, Certified Law of Attraction and Master Life Coach and a motivational speaker, whose topics include “Making the Impossible Possible,” “Loving Challenges,” and “Catching Your Dreams.” As a former elite athlete competing at the Olympic Games in 1984 and 1988 in the sport of team handball and head collegiate coach for 23 years, she possesses a deep passion for helping others become motivated to reach their highest levels of success.

Winn overcame her fears and limitations when she contracted chronic pain at the age of 33 and was told by 17 different medical professionals there was no answer. Through books, meditation, mentors and Webinars, she discovered the power of healing through positive thinking. 

To receive a free 50-minute Law of Attraction coaching session, or more information about Winn, she can be contacted by email at sherrymwinn@gmail.com, through her website at www.ucancreatesuccess.com or on Facebook.


2 thoughts on “Law of Attraction: You Get What You Give

  1. It is true that many people are still unable to love another who is “different”. So often we make a big presumption–that the people we like (and love) think, feel, behave, and believe as we do. It can be quite a shock to find out that our best friend/child/admired boss/etc is in some way diametrically opposite to us!

    Sometimes we are able to use this news to open our hearts and broaden our acceptance. Other times we allow it to shut out someone whom we had previously cherished.

    Did they change? No. But we learned something new about them that we are not yet ready to reconcile in our hearts.

    Fortunately often we just need a little time to accept others even with their differences–having felt the discomfort of judgement we shift and make a decision to feel love in a much broader sense.

  2. Dave Costello says:

    A really helpful article Sherry – thank you for clarifying this tendency that we can all fall into, and need to raise awareness of.

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