Law of Attraction: You Get What You Give

By Sherry Winn

I heard a heartbreaking story the other day about parents who disowned their daughter because she came out to them as a lesbian. Their religious beliefs held that being a homosexual was a sin, so they chose not to love the “sin” of their daughter. To them, it also meant they couldn’t love their daughter.

I include this story not to determine who is right or wrong. It is not about the rightness. It is about the choice of love and the choice of judgment.

Why is this important in the law of attraction?

What does it feel like when love is removed from your life? Take a moment to reflect on how that feels. Can you remember a partner deserting you, a parent withholding affection, or the loss of beloved pet? When you think back on that loss, what do you feel?

  • Anger?
  • The desire for justice?
  • Abandoned?
  • Unworthy?
  • A hole in your heart?

If you sit in silence and allow yourself to move through that experience, does it feel like an old story absent of emotion? Or does it still hold some negative vibrations within you? If you can tell the story without your stomach getting queasy, your heart aching, or tension in your shoulders, then you have left the story behind you. If you still have a body part or emotion attached to the story, you have not given yourself permission to move beyond it.

When you hold the absence of love within you, you are holding negative vibrations. You are not permitting the greatest source of energy to flow through you. Positive vibrations are necessary to attract more of the things you love.

It is easy to believe we can love some people and hate others — that there is some line we can draw between love and hate as if this invisible barrier makes us immune to the negative vibrations of hate. It is okay to hate others who are bad. Right?

There is a quote from “A Course in Miracles,” which states:

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see in him, you will also see in yourself. As you treat him, you will also treat yourself.”

We cannot separate the emotion we feel for others from ourselves. When we offer hatred, disgust, revulsion, misunderstanding or judgment toward others, it does not somehow jump on them and leave us. We are left with the residue of those emotions. We harbor them. What we think we give to another is, in fact, what we offer ourselves.

The law of attraction is about vibrations — positive, free-flowing vibrations. If you want to attract love, but withhold love, are you offering both a positive and a negative vibration in the same moment? Are you contradicting yourself? In truth, you are pulling in opposite directions and wanting one side to win.

The question to ask yourself is: What side do I want to win? The side which withholds love from another because I do not understand or agree with him, or the side of me which believes I am worthy of unconditional love even though I cannot give it?

Maybe you judged the parents who disowned their daughter because they wanted to honor their religious beliefs. Or maybe you judged the daughter who is a lesbian. It is not the question of who you judged. It is the question of how the judgment feels within you.

When you judge another, what are you judging about yourself? And how does that judgment feel?

It is the feeling that determines your ability to attract. The more negative vibrations you have within you, the harder it is to attract what you desire. How do you learn to be more loving and nonjudgmental? This is a lifelong quest, but you can begin with simple steps:

  1. Become aware of how the emotions you are emitting feel inside you.
  2. Practice saying, “I love you” to yourself.
  3. Engage in the art of empathy.
  4. Recognize judgments as they come and release them.
  5. Align yourself with people who are on a quest of personal development.

The law of attraction is the law of positive vibrations. By learning to love more and judge less, you are aligning yourself with greater opportunities.

Sherry Winn - The Law of AttractionSherry Winn is an author, EFT Practitioner, Certified Law of Attraction and Master Life Coach and a motivational speaker, whose topics include “Making the Impossible Possible,” “Loving Challenges,” and “Catching Your Dreams.” As a former elite athlete competing at the Olympic Games in 1984 and 1988 in the sport of team handball and head collegiate coach for 23 years, she possesses a deep passion for helping others become motivated to reach their highest levels of success.

Winn overcame her fears and limitations when she contracted chronic pain at the age of 33 and was told by 17 different medical professionals there was no answer. Through books, meditation, mentors and Webinars, she discovered the power of healing through positive thinking. 

To receive a free 50-minute Law of Attraction coaching session, or more information about Winn, she can be contacted by email at, through her website at or on Facebook.


Editor’s Advice: Where Do You Need to Give?

Have you ever noticed different themes showing up in your life and repeating themselves? Maybe you decided its time to switch your car insurance, and suddenly you see a car insurance commercial, get an e-mail to check your rates, and overhear someone in line at the supermarket talking about the great deal they got when switching to a new insurance company.

Or maybe you decided to make healthy changes to your diet, and you came across a program on PBS about plant-based living, got an e-mail from Barnes and Noble about a new anti-inflammatory cookbook, and a friend told you she signed up for a vegan cooking class.

Is it a coincidence? Could it be the law of attraction – attracting what you are focused on? Or is the universe sending you a message about the right path for you? Whatever the answer, when things pop up for me repeatedly, I always pay attention. Lately, the theme of giving has been on my radar. The first sign came when Elevated Existence ran an article covering a live teleseminar with Neale Donald Walsch, where he shared three secrets to end struggle in our lives. One of the practices he adopted when struggling years ago was to give, no matter how little he had himself.

“I would give someone money even though I didn’t have much. I would say to myself, ‘what if I had enough and that was so much, I could give it away.’ So I began to give it away,” he said during the teleseminar. “I did the same with relationships and compassion. I found people who wanted the same things I wanted and decided to be the source of it. Suddenly, I found those same things flowing through me.”

The second reminder about giving came when one of our contributing editor’s, Jennifer Garza, wrote an article recently posted on Elevated Existence’s Web site entitled: “Attracting More Prosperity Through Giving.”

“Remind yourself daily that sharing attracts sharing. When your vibration is open and giving, you will attract others who will open and give to you. Give openly and without expectation. If you feel people ‘owe’ you, you will attract more situations where you feel people ‘owe’ you,” she said in the article.

So many of us get caught up in the bills we need to pay, and the lack we feel or see in our lives, whether it’s money, compassion, friendship or love. But when we give these things to someone else, we can’t help but feel them ourselves. Walsch explained how at one point he found himself homeless, and when he had 10 cents, he would give 5 cents away. What if we skipped the expensive latte and gave those few dollars to a charity we believe in, or to a friend who is struggling even more than we are?

Now, as N.J. — where Elevated Existence is headquartered — faces the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, humanity is in need of giving more than ever. The way I see it, there is no downside to giving. It makes you feel good, and it makes the receiver feel good. It raises your vibration so you attract even more – and then you have more to give! And the best place to start is where you feel lack in your own life.

Whether its holding the door open for the person following you into a store, helping a friend through a difficult time by offering a listening ear and a compassionate heart, or donating time or money to a charity or cause you support, this month try to give something away each day – no matter how small. That is my plan, and I hope you will join me!

Blessings and love to you all!

Tammy Mastroberte
Founder, Publisher & Editorial Director
Elevated Existence Magazine