By Jennifer Garza
When it comes to the law of attraction and manifesting our desires, negativity is the fastest way to sabotage our goals. Here are three ways we can stop the flow of negativity in our lives.
Resist the urge to vent.
We all vent – it’s a way to blow off steam after a hard day or an argument with a friend. It seems harmless. However, recent studies show that this urge can actually be hazardous to your health. The problem with venting is that once you start, it’s hard to stop, and gripes can quickly turn into rumination. According to research, rumination sustains or increases feelings of sadness, creates negative thinking, interferes with ability to solve problems, and decreases motivation.
TIP: Take a two-week no-venting challenge. You’ll be surprised how after a respite, you’ll notice that venting creates feelings of heaviness. During the challenge, find humor in your situations and laugh. Replace your urges to vent with gratitude for the good things in your life!
Focus on the positive.
Negativity attracts negativity. Ever notice how a day that begins badly usually gets worse? If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed your thoughts swing to the negative. Do an increased amount of negative situations actually occur? Maybe, maybe not. But situations are at least perceived more negatively.
For instance, instead of ignoring the rude person in line for coffee, you say to yourself “What a jerk. People are so inconsiderate.” This line of thought increases your “inconsiderate people” radar throughout the day. However, if you chose to say to yourself “Aw, poor guy probably had a rotten morning like me!” and smile, you might be surprised how your mood shifts. And your kindness may have the same effect on the gentleman who left his manners at home that morning.
TIP: For every negative situation, try to figure out what opportunity exists there. Is it an opportunity to learn or extend kindness? If you can’t find the silver lining, realize you can’t control everything and everyone and release the negative thoughts. Remember, research shows that persistent negative thoughts can contribute to depression.
Remind yourself that you are in control of your feelings.
You will have bad days – we all do. But when you feel blue, instead of blaming the weather or a loved one’s comment for your mood – decide to take charge. You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control your thoughts about the circumstance. Realize that no situation or person can make you feel badly unless you allow it.
TIP: Figure out what you’re telling yourself that is contributing to your negative frame of mind. Does one negative thought like “I feel stuck in my job right now” spiral into generalization like “I’ll be stuck in this crappy job forever?” Replace these generalizations with positive affirmations for the future!
Jennifer Garza, M.S., has a master of science in counseling and psychology. She is a former therapist and has taught life enhancement classes at venues including college campuses, state conferences and prisons. She is the author of the inspiration journal “365 Days to Happiness: Use Your Strengths, Thoughts, and Dreams to Manifest a New Life.” Garza has been featured in Natural Health magazine, AOL, BusinessInsider.com, Young Entrepreneur.com, and on FTNS radio. Visit her website at www.authorjennifergarza.com or connect with her on Facebook.
I love the idea of the no venting challenge. So often, we get so caught up in venting because it gives us attention, which everybody craves. In many cases, venting also allows us to have something in common with other people who are venting about similar problems. One of the fastest ways to see life take a turn for the better is to stop venting.
Mara,
This challenge literally changed my life. I used to think that venting was a part of the process to move on from something. I no longer believe this. I was shocked at how after the challenge, when I felt the urge to vent, a heaviness came over me. I don’t feel the urge to vent anymore, and my life is so much less stressful. The power of our thoughts is amazing 😉 Here’s to your two-week challenge; I’d love to hear the outcome!
Jennifer,
Thank you for the excellent information! To add to one of the thoughts presented in this article, like results follow like thoughts. When we vent, we are focusing on the negative thought, which only brings more negative. The opposite happens when we focus on the positive thought. This information is very helpful. It will help me and many others : )
Joe,
I love that – like results follow like thoughts. It’s so true! And thank you so much for your comments 🙂
I like the idea of looking for an opportunity in a negative situation. I’m not a “venter” per se; I do journal everyday and there’s a lot of whinging going on there.