Bestselling author and CEO of Moving the Masses, Lisa Nichols joined bestselling author of “The Soulmate Secret” Arielle Ford on Day 2 of the online series “Attract Your Soulmate Now,” to discuss how to become magnetic to our soulmate and use the power of prayer and affirmations to break through negative and limiting beliefs.
“My most basic core principle for manifesting love is to be the mate you want to attract,” Nichols told Ford. “Make a list in extreme detail and then become that list.”
She also shared the three types of relationships experienced in life: Lifetime, where the relationship stays with us; Life-Giving, which is often short-term and can be from one day to two years; and Purposeful, which have a divine purpose or several purposes, and when the purpose is complete, the relationship ends.
“Life-giving can be a chance encounter, but we have the most challenge with purposeful. We could have met that person in order to start a business, or for children to be born, or to find our voice,” Nichols said. “The quality of your life-long partnership depends on how much completion work you did on the past relationships because otherwise you are bringing all that in.”
Limiting Belief Exercise
During the event, Nichols shared an exercise to overcome limiting beliefs about relationships, something she learned years ago when attending a Transformational Leadership Council meeting with Jack Canfield in Aspen.
“I do a lot of mirror work, so go to the mirror,” she explained. “First write down the limiting belief you have around love. This will come from the face of fear, doubt and anxiety. This belief does not empower you. You run from this belief.”
In order to uncover this belief, we need to go to the place that isn’t “so bright” in our lives, but it’s important not to stay or get stuck there, Nichols said. It’s about uncovering what is looming there and bringing it to the light so it will no longer have power over us.
The next step is to take the limiting belief and rewrite a new statement to become a new mantra – no more than one sentence. For example, during the seminar with Jack Canflied, Nichols uncovered a limiting belief that she would never have long-lasting, forever love, and turned it around to, “I am worthy of long-lasting, amazing love.”
“It has to be something you can chant, and can only have positive words. It shouldn’t have ‘can’t’ or ‘won’t’ like ‘I won’t be alone.’ It should be short, sweet, powerful and counteract the negative,” she noted. “Then get in the mirror and literally sing the mantra every morning right after you brush your teeth. You make the mantra a rhythm and you reprogram yourself with that mantra.”
It also helps to have other people who can say it to you and mirror it back.
Finding the Gift
Speaking about divine timing, Nichols explained every experience we have in relationships – with friends or romantic love – is prepping us for our soulmate and teaching us lessons. It all serves a purpose.
“When I made a list of every relationship I ever had with a man, I [found] the gift I was given in the relationship,” said Nichols. “Now mind you, some gifts may have come wrapped in sandpaper. Some gifts did not feel good to get, but when I unwrapped it and unpacked it, I got the gift.”
She offered the following steps to help others heal themselves from past relationships by finding the gift or gifts they were given from it:
1. At the top of the paper, write down “My Purposeful Relationships.”
2. Circle and underline the word purpose.
3. For each relationship write, “The purpose I was in this relationship was for,” and complete the sentence.
4. Look at and read the list, and say, “I appreciate and celebrate my purposeful relationship, and since the purpose has been completed, so has the relationship,” for each one.
“You are more of who you are because of that relationship,” she noted. “You learned lessons, got blessings. I don’t ever say, ‘we broke up,’ I say ‘we are complete.’ That puts a period at the end of the sentence as opposed to a comma.”
If after writing a purpose, we can’t say, ‘I’m complete,” then keep writing because once it is over, if we tried to go back, it would not be the same, said Nichols.
“It’s the image you give it,” she said. “We freeze-frame our relationship at the best point and then we cut and paste it into our mind, thinking it will always be that. It’s a fantasy and our reality is paying for it.”
Every single experience we have makes us who we are today, Nichols said. As a result, our soulmate will get the best version of us.