Arielle Ford on Turning Your Mate Into Your Soulmate

Falling in love with someone is often the easiest part of a romantic relationship. Making the love last and creating a fulfilling marriage is often not as simple. Over time, reality can set in, we may take our partner for granted, push one another’s buttons and forget about the love that brought us together in the first place.

Known as the “Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love,” bestselling author Arielle Ford’s newest book, “Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate: A Practical Guide to Happily Ever After,” is dedicated to helping couples rediscover and rekindle love, improve their romantic relationships and change their lives for the better.

And she also set out to bust the myth that once we find our soulmate — something she taught so many to find with her book “The Soulmate Secret” — that everything will be easy, with no problems or disagreements.

“Like a lot of people I bought into the fairytale myth of soulmates and happily ever after. If they are really your soulmate, they will know how to make you happy in every moment, and it will be really easy and effortless,” Ford tells Elevated Existence in the March 2016 issue cover story. “Then I manifested my soulmate, got married and found out it wasn’t true. I had no idea the person you thought was totally perfect when you were in the honeymoon phase, or the phase I like to call the ‘socially acceptable form of insanity,’ when you are literally crazy in love and your brain is flooded with all these good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin and adrenaline, wouldn’t last.”

Layout 1Ford believes this phase is nature’s way of tricking us into mating so we keep the species going. But often around the 16- to 18-month mark, those “feel-good hormones” disappear, and we are left with a “perfectly imperfect human being to live with, and we don’t know how to do it,” she says, explaining we then start questioning if the person we are with is truly our soulmate because it just shouldn’t be so hard.

“I wrote this book because I really wanted people to know what’s true about love, soulmates and relationships, and what is really normal,” Ford explains. “I spent 130 hours interviewing the world’s top love, relationship and marriage experts, and then took their best advice and road-tested it in my own relationship. That is what’s in the new book.”

Elevated Existence interviewed Ford for the March 2016 issue cover story to get some of her best advice, tools and research when it comes to relationships, including how to communicate, what men really want and much more!

Here are some of the highlights:

  • “So many people think love is just a feeling. If I’m feeling love then there is love, but it’s so much deeper than that. Love is a behavior, a commitment, a choice, a decision and an action,” Ford says. “So there will be days when you don’t like your soulmate very much, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Just like you might have a favorite dog or a cat, and you might love your pet, but there are days when they misbehave and you don’t like the behavior. But it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. So when your partner is doing something you don’t like, you have to just ask yourself, is this a reason not to love them?”
  • “You start off with chemistry, but that is actually not the most important thing to predict a long-term relationship,” Ford says. “You want connection, compatibility, communication, and most important, a shared vision for the future.”
  • “[Men] they are wired to win,” says Ford. “If you can set up a man to win, if you could let him know every day that he is your hero, you could get almost anything out of him. They will do almost anything for you because they want to win.”

For the full article, you can purchase the digital or hard copy of the issue, or subscribe to Elevated Existence’s Membership here!

The Truth About Soulmate Love

By Tammy Mastroberte

We all dream of finding our perfect soulmate to love and cherish forever, and we often feel if we could just find that one person, then everything in our lives would fall into place. There would be no fighting, pain or disagreements, and life would just be an endless stream of bliss and love.

However, that is just not the reality or the purpose of love relationships. Yes, being with our soulmate can be wonderful, fun, exciting and blissful. But it can also cut us deep, bring up old wounds and push all our buttons. But that’s exactly the way it should be.

Back in June 2012, bestselling author Marianne Williamson taught a weekend workshop dedicated to the topic of romantic relationships, and she shared the true purpose of these connections from the viewpoint of “A Course in Miracles,” which is to heal.

“The Course says relationships are assignments made in order to increase the maximum soul growth of both people,” she explained in our June 2012 cover story. “It is as though a giant machine somewhere sees where you are wounded, and then picks out the person and situation in all of the universe in combination with whom you would most likely be healed.”

In the March 2016 issue cover story, bestselling author Arielle Ford shares expert advice and tips for reigniting love and passion in romantic relationships, and reconnecting to the feelings that brought us together with our partner in the first place. Her newest book, “Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate,” explains what is true and normal for relationships, and how with a little work, we can create our own happily ever after.

“Chances are if you marry somebody there was a time when you were in love and you believed they were your soulmate, and now you are thinking the grass is greener somewhere else or you are just not in love with them,” she says in the March 2016 issue. “There is a 90 percent chance what’s happened is you have years of anger, disappointment, frustration and unexpressed desires, or desires you expressed by yelling or shouting that didn’t get met. So all that love is covered up,” she shared. “But chances are the love is still there.”

I believe our soulmates are there to help us grow, evolve and heal, and I believe we planned it all with them before entering into this physical world. Remembering this, appreciating them and changing our perspective can not only transform our relationship, but can also strengthen our connection to our partner and the universe as a whole. Even if the relationship is not meant to last a lifetime, there is always a purpose, and there is always an opportunity to become a more evolved soul as a result.

But it’s up to us to increase our awareness and do the work. Soulmate love doesn’t equal easy, but it does equal expansion. And our souls and the souls of those we love are worth it.

Tammy_Mastroberte_headshotTammy Mastroberte is a three-time, award-winning writer, founder of Elevated Existence, and publisher and editorial director of the multi-award-winning Elevated Existence Magazine. She started the new age, spiritual and self-improvement publication at age 30 – eight years after the sudden death of her mother from a brain aneurysm only three days after Christmas in 1999. This tragedy led her down a synchronistic path to discover her purpose and the meaning behind many of the events in her life – including her mother’s death. She now shares her guidance, and the wisdom of today’s top authors and spiritual celebrities through Elevated Existence Magazine. Follow her on FacebookTwitter: @ElevatedTammy on Instagram: elevatedtammy. For more information, visit

Arielle Ford: Attract Your Soulmate

By Jennifer McCartney

Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life? Is it your dream to find a life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you? Arielle Ford, author of the bestselling book “The Soulmate Secret” has been called, “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love,” and she shared her secrets to manifesting the love of your life — secrets she used to manifest her own soulmate at age 44, and has taught to countless people worldwide, as part of the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” including:

  • How to become a magnet for love
  • Techniques you can use to take control of your romantic destiny
  • Key steps to manifesting your soulmate
  • How to start preparing for your soulmate right now (it will help you attract him or her)

“I believe a soulmate is first and foremost somebody you can completely be yourself with,” Ford shared. “Somebody with who you share unconditional love, and someone who, when you look into their eyes, you feel like you’re home.”

Additionally, over the course of our lifetimes we have many soulmates — best friends, family members, coworkers and romantic partners — and there are a number of key steps we can take to attract a new romantic love soulmate. And we must be willing to put in a little time and effort.

She used the example of a single mother who was recently out of work. The mother would actively take steps to find another job. She would update her resume, go on interviews, and talk to others about finding a job. She wouldn’t be sitting at home saying “if it’s meant to be it will happen.” However, this is what most single women are doing when it comes to finding love. She encouraged people to get online, check out dating sites, ask friends for help, and put out into the universe the intention to find love.

Other barriers to finding love may be our own mental roadblocks or limited beliefs about it. “There are a lot of people locked into their story,” Ford shared, explaining sometimes women over 60 will get discouraged and quote statistics about how there are more women than men left in the dating pool. Or some women will tell themselves only once they lose weight will they find love. But Arielle’s mother-in-law found love online at age 80, and the average wedding dress size sold in the United States is a size 16, she said.

If you’re thinking you have to lose weight to find love, it isn’t true. You have to let go of that belief,” she said.


Step to Manifesting a Soulmate
Ford also shared the steps she used in order to find her own true love at the age of 44. They include:

Forgiveness — She decided to forgive herself for past relationships, and made a list of men who she’d judged as having done her wrong in some way, so she could forgive them as well. “Forgiving is not about forgetting what happened or condoning what happens, but it is about letting go,” she said.

Clarity — We need to be clear about what our heart and soul desires in a partner, which is not about making a shopping list, such as tall, blue eyes, athletic build, etc. It’s an honest assessment of what is important to us. To create her own list, Ford looked back at the men in her life and noted the qualities they had that she knew she wanted, and a list of things she didn’t want. The list can be as long or as short as you need it to be—it can be 10 or a 100 items, she said. Two important things that should be on everyone’s list are: “My soulmate is open, willing and available for a long-term committed, monogamous marriage or relationship.” And if we know we want children, that should be included as well. The second is to add “My soulmate already lives within 50 miles of my town or is willing to move,” unless we are looking to move as well.

She also recommends sitting down with a friend and reviewing the list so we get another perspective. For example, does he really need to be a CEO and concert-level pianist? Or can he be just an okay pianist? We want someone to question us as to whether the items on the list will contribute to our long-term happiness, and be sure we didn’t miss any deal breakers.

Release — Next, it’s time to release the list. This helps us become unattached to the outcome. Once Ford had her list, she wrote out another copy on nice stationary and burned it under the light of a new moon. To celebrate the release, she took herself out for lunch and ordered a glass of champagne—toasting her as yet unknown soulmate.

Vision Board — The final step is to create a vision board of your future. A collage of magazine clippings and images on a piece of poster board—a visual representation of the future you’re intending. We are not trying to manifest Brad Pitt or George Clooney, she explained, but rather a lifestyle. So include anything that evokes the feelings we are looking to manifest in a relationship, from a couple holding hands on a beach to a nice meal we would like to share together. This vision board helps focus our intentions and lets us manifest what our life together will look like.

Once we have all these steps completed, and we’ve created space for your future soulmate, the fun part begins. Now, Arielle said, “it’s a matter of waiting to see what the universe will bring you.”

For more from Ford and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit.


Arielle Ford Honored by The Skinless Project’s as June 2014 Inspirational Woman

Arielle Ford, bestselling author of “The Soulmate Secret,” self-help and relationship experts is the featured Inspirational Woman for June 2014 for The Skinless Project, a hub for women’s self-empowerment as leaders and consumers.

A publicist who helped launch the careers of self-help gurus Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, Ford is the author of seven books, and is the co-producer of Chopra’s video series The Happiness Prescription, as well as a founding partner of the Spiritual Cinema Circle.

“I am glad to be The Skinless Project’s inspirational woman for June,” Ford said. “The Skinless Project is a vehicle for women the world over to share stories and build a mutually supportive community. It’s an exciting development for women.”

Maaria Mozaffar founded The Skinless Project in 2012 to propagate the truth that women are more than skin deep. The Skinless Project connects women around the world through a global community, seminars, self-empowerment resources, and connections to products and brands that advance a healthy, positive vision for women, families, and communities.

“I never thought about competition,” Ford said. “My core belief is that ‘everyone always says yes to me,’ and if they don’t say yes it’s because something bigger or better is on the way to me. In my current field of ‘love and relationships,’ my closest friends are what others might consider my ‘competition.’ I don’t see it that way. I enjoy supporting their work because we all share a common mission of having a more loving world.”

Read the Q&A with Arielle Ford here.


Arielle Ford: Secrets to Attract Your Soulmate

Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life? Is it your dream to find a life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you?

Arielle Ford, bestselling author of “The Soulmate Secret,” has been called, “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love,” and she joined Elevated Existence Magazine founder, Tammy Mastroberte, as part of the Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit to discuss how to attract a soulmate using the tools and techniques she herself applied to attract her husband, Brian, at age 44.

“For me, a soulmate is first and foremost somebody you can completely be yourself with, and somebody who you share unconditional love, and when you look into each other’s eyes, you feel like you are coming home . . . it can be a lover, parents, kids, business partners, co-workers, and even your cats and dogs fit into that,” Ford shared on the call.

But when it comes to romantic love, the fastest way to manifest it is to start being grateful for the soulmates we already have in life, such as family and friends, and to understand there is no such thing as only one soulmate.

“I don’t know who started the big fat lie that we only get one love in a lifetime. I know one woman who is married to her third soulmate because she outlived the first two,” Ford explained. She also pointed out there are 7.2 billion people alive on the plant and approximately half of them are single, so statistically we can’t not meet our soulmate!

Ford woke up one day at 43 years old and realized she forgot to get married, she explained. She had worked hard on her career and loved her life, but her bed was empty and she knew something was missing. Upon looking at her life and how well she had done in her career, she got the idea of using the same techniques – special prayers, rituals, intentions – to find love. Within six months she met her husband Brian during a business meeting, and three weeks later she was engaged.

“As soon as Brian and I got together, I suddenly became the poster child for women over 40 to fall in love,” she said, explaining she would share the soulmate secret process with people watch them having amazing success. Even her 80-year-old mother-in-law used it to find new love!

“I shared it with my mother-in-law and within three weeks she had a date, which led to her being with her next soulmate,” Ford said. “This has worked for men and women in over 40 countries around the world, and I get emails every single day from people about finding love. It works if you are wiling to put a little time into it.”

If we got fired from our job, we would know exactly what to do to get another one, said Ford. We would update our resume, go online to look for work, network with people and go on job interviews. We would take action, and we need to do the same with our love life.

“What happens, particularly with women, is if they have to find a job or a new car or a place to live, they go into action, but when it comes to their love life, they kind of lean back on the couch and say, ‘well, if it’s meant to be it will happen.’ You would never do that about a job,” Ford noted. “Not only are you looking for your soulmate, but your soulmate is also looking for you. But they can’t find you if your not leaving the house, or if your not online, or if your not in the game. It’s your job to put yourself in the game – that is the first thing that has to happen.”


Steps for Manifesting a Soulmate
Ford shared her key steps  to manifesting love – steps she followed herself and has taught to people all over the world.

Step 1: Forgiveness — The first step is all about forgiveness, especially forgiving ourselves for any judgments we placed on ourselves for not doing the right thing in past relationships. But we also need to forgive others we think have done us wrong. This step is about also clearing out the emotional blocks we carry from the past.

Step 2: Clarity – We need to uncover and get clear about the traits we want in our soulmate, and not jut the physical appearance, but the heart traits, said Ford.

“You want to be looking for things that are going to contribute to your long-term happiness,” she said. “Most people are clear about what they don’t want and not clear about what they do want, so they can start with the ‘don’t want’ list and then turn that into what they do want.”

We should start by looking at the last two or three relationships and list all the things we don’t want in a person, such as lying, cheating and smoking. Then write a list of things we do want, such as loyal, kind, generous, monogamous, and puts my needs first.

“Having this clarity is really critical, and in some ways the hardest because it requires the most time to really ponder and think about,” said Ford. “Then once you do that, you write out your soulmate wish list all in positive statements.”

This is also when we can add some physical qualities we would like our soulmate to have, such as gray hair – something Ford had on her list and actually found in her husband Brian.

“I also had on my list that English would be a first language because I had dated a lot of foreigners and even thought they spoke English it’s different from having it as a first language,” she said. “I also wanted somebody who could walk unassisted because I like to go for walks every single day, so it was a mix of heart traits and physical qualities.”

Know what your ‘must have’s are,’ she explained. We don’t always get everything we want, but be specific on the things most important to you. After you have the list, give it to a trusted friend to make sure you have not missed anything important.

“For example, I’m a big cat lover, and I always have been, but I once dated a guy who is allergic to cats and the first time he came to my condo he started coughing, sneezing and chocking. So a cat lover was on my list,” she shared.

Step 3: Release Ceremony – We need to release the list to the universe, and while we can keep a copy, we should not be obsessive about it or checking it every day, said Ford. For her release ceremony she looked on the calendar for the next new moon, and she wrote out her list on a beautiful piece of stationary, and took it to the cove near her home at noon. She read through the list, said a prayer of gratitude to thank the universe for sending her the perfect and right partner, and then burned the list and tossed it into the ocean. Then she took herself out to lunch, ordered a glass of champagne and toasted her soulmate.

“I said, ‘wherever you are right now, just know that the cosmic welcome mat has been put out for you, and I’m ready whenever you are,’” she explained.

Some of the things we can do with our list include:

— put it above or below an altar

— put in under our pillow or a mattress

–put it in our favorite spiritual book

–roll it up into a scroll, put it into a red or pink helium balloon and release it into the heavens

“The point is just to let it go,” she noted. “Of course, keep a copy. Three years after Brian and I were married, he came running down the stairs holding this beat up yellow legal pad, and he was saying, ‘I found your list, your soulmate wish list, and I’m everything but two.’”

Feathering the Nest
It’s important to get into the state of the mind where our soulmate is already with  us – even before he or she arrives, and Ford calls this “feathering the nest.” It starts with literally preparing our home energetically to receive our soulmate.

“If you were living with an ex, or they spent time there, even though they are not physically there anymore, they have left invisible energy that you need to clear out,” she explained.

There are several ways to do this. Here are a few of her suggestions:

— Hire a professional energy worker or feng shui expert

— Buy white sage and burn it over a bowl while walking around the house. Pay special attention to the window jams, door jams and inside the closets.

— Open all the windows and doors on a nice sunny day, and take a broom in your hand. Using your imagination, literally sweep the other person’s energy out of the doors and windows of your home.

Additionally, if there are photographs, souvenirs, or momentos of things that are from an ex, they should be removed from the home. Even if we are not conscious of them, they are having an unconscious effect tying us to the person and our past. We can get rid of it, or at least put it in the garage. If we don’t have a garage, give it to a friend to store for us.

“I was talking to a friend of mine who is a well known tapping expert,” said Ford. “He was recovering from a breakup and tapping about it, but he still was not meeting anyone. I had a conversation with him and he found photos of his ex in the home. He got rid of them and then two days later he met the women he is now married to. This stuff is really important to do, and it really works.”

It is also important to physically make room for our soulmate in our home. Even if we live in a very small apartment, it is showing a sign of faith to make room for them. This can be an empty drawer in the dresser, half of a shelf in the bathroom, or an inch of space in the closet, she said.

“If you are living in a bigger place and have two car garage, park on your side of the garage and not in the middle. If you have a bigger bed, sleep on one side and not in the middle,” she noted. “Start to symbolically show the universe you literally have room in your home for another.”

We can also do this with our time, and start scheduling time in to spend with our soulmate. For example, block out three hours on a Thursday night. If that time comes and your soulmate is not there, then go out and get a manicure, or go to the movies with a friend, said Ford. But actually put it into your schedule.

“I call this ‘living as if,’ when you’re ‘living as if’ you are knowing and trusting what you’ve asked for is already yours and your behavior is following your beliefs,” she said. “One of the things I did when I was manifesting my soulmate was every time I passed a card store I went in and bought birthday cards, anniversary cards, I Love You Just Because cards, Valentine’s Day cards – I had dozens of cards, all of which Brian now has because I knew that someday I would be giving it to him. So it wasn’t like I was waiting for the soulmate to buy the cards. I was anticipating and trusting that the soulmate was on the way.”

She told the story about a Hollywood actress who loved to cook, and every night she would come home from the set of her TV show and set the table for two. The woman would use the good China and silver, and have flowers, candles and music. She would make a delicious dinner, and by the end of six months, her soulmate was there at the table with her.

“We can’t see gravity, but we know it’s there, and it’s is the same thing with the law of attraction. It’s working all the time whether or not you believe it, whether or not you are using it in your favor,” Ford explained. “The law of attraction states, we draw to us the people, places and experiences that match our state of being, so if our state of being is –‘I am so lovable. I am so grateful for all the love in my life.’ – you will have one experience. If it’s, ‘I’m such a loser, nobody will love me, I’m too old, I’m too fat, I’m too broke,’ the experience you are going to have will be that.”


Attract Your Soulmate Now: Lisa Nichols on Becoming Magnetic

Bestselling author and CEO of Moving the Masses, Lisa Nichols joined bestselling author of “The Soulmate Secret” Arielle Ford on Day 2 of the online series “Attract Your Soulmate Now,” to discuss how to become magnetic to our soulmate and use the power of prayer and affirmations to break through negative and limiting beliefs.

“My most basic core principle for manifesting love is to be the mate you want to attract,” Nichols told Ford. “Make a list in extreme detail and then become that list.”

She also shared the three types of relationships experienced in life: Lifetime, where the relationship stays with us; Life-Giving, which is often short-term and can be from one day to two years; and Purposeful, which have a divine purpose or several purposes, and when the purpose is complete, the relationship ends.

“Life-giving can be a chance encounter, but we have the most challenge with purposeful. We could have met that person in order to start a business, or for children to be born, or to find our voice,” Nichols said. “The quality of your life-long partnership depends on how much completion work you did on the past relationships because otherwise you are bringing all that in.”

Limiting Belief Exercise
During the event, Nichols shared an exercise to overcome limiting beliefs about relationships, something she learned years ago when attending a Transformational Leadership Council meeting with Jack Canfield in Aspen.

“I do a lot of mirror work, so go to the mirror,” she explained. “First write down the limiting belief you have around love. This will come from the face of fear, doubt and anxiety. This belief does not empower you. You run from this belief.”

In order to uncover this belief, we need to go to the place that isn’t “so bright” in our lives, but it’s important not to stay or get stuck there, Nichols said. It’s about uncovering what is looming there and bringing it to the light so it will no longer have power over us.

The next step is to take the limiting belief and rewrite a new statement to become a new mantra – no more than one sentence. For example, during the seminar with Jack Canflied, Nichols uncovered a limiting belief that she would never have long-lasting, forever love, and turned it around to, “I am worthy of long-lasting, amazing love.”

“It has to be something you can chant, and can only have positive words. It shouldn’t have ‘can’t’ or ‘won’t’ like ‘I won’t be alone.’ It should be short, sweet, powerful and counteract the negative,” she noted. “Then get in the mirror and literally sing the mantra every morning right after you brush your teeth. You make the mantra a rhythm and you reprogram yourself with that mantra.”

It also helps to have other people who can say it to you and mirror it back.

Finding the Gift
Speaking about divine timing, Nichols explained every experience we have in relationships – with friends or romantic love – is prepping us for our soulmate and teaching us lessons. It all serves a purpose.

“When I made a list of every relationship I ever had with a man, I [found] the gift I was given in the relationship,” said Nichols. “Now mind you, some gifts may have come wrapped in sandpaper. Some gifts did not feel good to get, but when I unwrapped it and unpacked it, I got the gift.”

She offered the following steps to help others heal themselves from past relationships by finding the gift or gifts they were given from it:

1. At the top of the paper, write down “My Purposeful Relationships.”

2. Circle and underline the word purpose.

3. For each relationship write, “The purpose I was in this relationship was for,” and complete the sentence.

4. Look at and read the list, and say, “I appreciate and celebrate my purposeful relationship, and since the purpose has been completed, so has the relationship,” for each one.

“You are more of who you are because of that relationship,” she noted. “You learned lessons, got blessings. I don’t ever say, ‘we broke up,’ I say ‘we are complete.’ That puts a period at the end of the sentence as opposed to a comma.”

If after writing a purpose, we can’t say, ‘I’m complete,” then keep writing because once it is over, if we tried to go back, it would not be the same, said Nichols.

“It’s the image you give it,” she said. “We freeze-frame our relationship at the best point and then we cut and paste it into our mind, thinking it will always be that. It’s a fantasy and our reality is paying for it.”

Every single experience we have makes us who we are today, Nichols said. As a result, our soulmate will get the best version of us.