Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?

By Amy Leigh Mercree

Fairy tales and romantic comedies often tell stories of two people meeting, sharing a look and instantly falling deeply in love for life. These stories ignite our hearts with hope of a love so vast and all encompassing – where we feel like we found our missing piece. Who can forget the much quoted Jerry Maguire line: “You complete me.”

Why does a part of us innately seek completion from another instead of finding it within? Perhaps, we are really seeking the divine outside of ourselves instead of delving into the truth of it being within all along.

That being said, I do believe in love at first sight! I believe in the unexplainable alchemy between souls and in the unknowable, sometimes undefinable, strands that connect us in love to another – whether we just met or have known each other for years.

There is a certain charge that can mean soul level familiarity and oftentimes when we feel it, we know. Frequently, it transcends the romantic connotation of soul mates and delves into the territory of soul friends and soul family. How beautiful is it that we can have soul-deep caring in our lives from not only our romantic partners, but also from close friends and family. We are all abundant of the heart if we choose to let love in.

With love at first sight, besides soul connection personal and chemical compatibility come into instantaneous play. Personal compatibility can be as simple as liking one another and as complex as developing a communication style that resonates with both partners. Sometimes in the first minutes of knowing someone this can click or not. I believe we can sense part of what may come with personal compatibility when we first see a person. In reality, we are all immensely intuitive people and intuition can contribute to our love at first sight experiences.

The ever-present, intensely complex world of chemical interaction between people is massively at play in love at first site scenarios. Even from a distance we can imperceptibly smell our chemical compatibility with a potential partner and a complex cacophony of scents and pheromones pull us in or repel us instantly.

But what about the couples who meet virtually first? Do they get the chemical benefit of love at first sight? Answering that question, at this point in time, is 100-percent conjecture. No studies have been done on the topic, but I’ll tell you my observation as a dating and relationship coach for the past 15 years. Sometimes, the chemical becomes the psychic and people receive the same cues at a distance as they do in person. I have heard some pretty amazing stories of the psychic sense of smell affecting romance and attraction across the miles.

The real truth is love, whether at first, second, 200th sight, is an unstoppable force of nature. Soul connected people magnetize each other at the right times in myriad magnificent ways. Our hearts can be stirred and nourished from within and without, and it is living in true abundance to graciously accept all the beauty that comes our way.

Love at first sight is real, and it happens all the time.

amy leigh mercree - spiritual datingAmy Leigh Mercree is an expert dating & relationship coach, entrepreneur, adventure guide and internationally acclaimed author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, and Soul Mates.” This June, Mercree is teaching “Spiritual Romance: Reawakening the Sacred in Your Love Life,” at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY.  See more information on the seminar here. And visit her Web site for you complete evolved dater’s toolkit!

Arielle Ford Shares Secrets to Finding and Keeping Love

Are you single and dreading Valentines’s Day this year? Maybe you are in a committed relationship or even married, but struggling to make it work?

Best-selling author, Arielle Ford, shared her secrets for using the law of attraction to find the love of her life in the book, “The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction,” and now she is sharing the secrets to making a relationship last once you find that perfect partner in her newest book, “Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships.”

Elevated Existence interviewed Ford so she could share some tips for those who are still searching for love, as well as those who are searching for ways to make it last.

Elevated Existence (EE):  So many people who are single struggle through Valentines’s Day. What is something they can do different this year to start attracting their soulmate?

Arielle Ford: I believe a soulmate is someone with whom we can completely be ourselves. Someone with whom we share unconditional love and when we look into their eyes we have the experience of being home. With this definition you can quickly see that you ALREADY have many soulmates in your life … it could be your best friend, kids, siblings, co-workers, pets, etc. This Valentine’s Day celebrate the soulmates in your life, do something special for them.  By putting your focus and attention on the LOVE YOU ALREADY HAVE you become a magnet for even more love, especially the romantic love you are seeking.

EE: What is Wabi Sabi?

Ford: It is an ancient Japanese art form that honors all things old weathered, worn, imperfect and impermanent by finding the beauty in the imperfections. For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a light on the crack, or they might fill the crack with 24k gold!

“Wabi Sabi Love” is devoted to exploring the simple, fun and effective ways to apply this concept to our love relationships through stories and exercises that demonstrate how to attain groundbreaking shifts in perception so that you can embrace and find the beauty and perfection in each other’s imperfections. I call this “going from annoyed to enjoyed.”

EE: In “Wabi Sabi Love,” you explain that learning to love, or at least accept, what your partner loves or is passionate about can lead to a better relationship. What is the first step of making this change?

Ford: Make a decision to find a creative way that you can share their passion. For instance, Suzanne’s husband Bill loves to fly small airplanes … nearly every weekend. She often found this boring … until she decided to be in charge of the itinerary. Bill didn’t care where he was flying to, he just wanted to be in the air. So, Suzanne would research interesting destinations to fly to, for a meal or an entire weekend. Places where they could explore historical sites and art museums, two of her passions. It became a win/win for both of them.

EE: You believe couples should wear “rose-colored glasses” when it comes to seeing each other. Why?

Ford: Research by Sandra Murray a psychologist at the University of Buffalo, reveals that putting on “rose-colored glasses” and idealizing our partner actually leads to more happiness and satisfaction in relationship. In fact, the happiest couples focus on what’s right and not on what’s wrong. This is also known as the Pygmalion effect, the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. It’s a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. As mature adults, we get to choose our thoughts and beliefs; so why not intend and expect the best out of ourselves and our partners?

One disclaimer here – this is not an invitation to go into denial or accept bad behavior or harmful situations. In the event you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you are advised to seek professional counsel immediately.

EE: How can gratitude move a person from annoyed to a more accepting state in a partnership?

Ford: Gratitude comes from the heart not the head. When we drop into our heart and allow ourselves to feel the warm, positive emotions of gratitude, we can begin to release the more negative emotions of annoyance and frustration. Your partner does not wake up in the morning thinking of ways to drive you crazy. They, like you, want to be loved and accepted for who they are. Taking time to be grateful that you have a loving partner (in spite of their quirks) will enrich your relationship.

EE: How do you “go from annoyed to enjoyed” when your partner does something that truly makes you crazy?

Ford: First, you must be willing to make a shift in your perception and see your mate’s behavior through a new, gentler and kinder lens. Chances are, you see their behavior as “wrong or bad,” but imagine for a moment that this behavior exists solely to teach you how to become a more loving, compassionate person. Can you find the gift of that behavior?

One of my favorite stories in the book is about a couple named Ed and Deb. Ed loves to meet new people and tell silly jokes. Deb has heard all of these silly jokes a million times and is often annoyed because when they are out and about running errands she always ends up waiting for him while he is busy entertaining strangers. One day, after Deb found herself waiting for Ed befriending a lonely little boy sitting on the curb waiting for his mother. She heard Ed say to the boy, “How does a camel hid in the desert?” The boy gave him a quizzical look, and then Ed delivered the punch-line: “Camelflage.” With that , the boy burst into laughter just as his mother approached, giving Ed a big smile.

It was at that moment that Deb, after a decade of marriage, finally got Ed’s true nature. He wasn’t trying to make her crazy at all. He just wanted to make people happy. And on that day, Deb found the beauty and perfection in what once made her nearly insane!

For more on “The Soulmate Secret,” visit For more on Wabi Sabi Love, including exercises, visit

Top Authors Offer Free Online Teleseminar: The Art of Love

Starting Tuesday, Nov. 1, 2011, join 21 leading relationship experts for “The Art of Love: Discover the Keys to Deep Connection, Soulful Passion and Lasting Love.” Whether you are in a new relationship, have been married for years, or are still searching for the right partner, this seminar series will offer techniques and strategies on how to get the love you want.

Just for signing up you get instant access to bonus videos feature Dr. Gay Hendricks and Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, Alison Armstrong and Dr. John Gray. But starting on Nov. 1, you will hear from a variety of well-known experts, including Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly-Hunt; Marianne Williamson; Deepak Chopra; David Bach; and Arielle Ford.

Additionally, couples will share their marriage-tested strategies for keeping love, passion and intimacy alive. Couples such as Colette Baron-Reid and Mark Lindeman; Arielle Ford and Brian Hilliard; John and Maria Assaraf and more!

According to the Web site,, the following topic will be covered:

-The simple secret that keeps attraction alive, delightful and magnetic – for both of you!
-The surprising delicacies that can reawaken your sex life … plus the hidden culprit that is stealing your libido.
-Four MUST-DO steps for healthy communication and why ‘common wisdom’ fails modern relationships.
-The cure for feeling unseen or unheard around your partner.
-An easy and immediate technique for releasing negative emotion.
-6 money mistakes couples make and how to avoid them … plus how to transcend financial challenges that come your way.
-How to keep it sizzling and sexy when you’re a parent.
-How to step into your full power as a successful woman without losing polarity, acceptance and delicious playfulness in your relationship.
-Surviving the ache of betrayal and how to re-build trust.

Sign up now – its FREE!