Arielle Ford: Attract Your Soulmate

By Jennifer McCartney

Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life? Is it your dream to find a life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you? Arielle Ford, author of the bestselling book “The Soulmate Secret” has been called, “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love,” and she shared her secrets to manifesting the love of your life — secrets she used to manifest her own soulmate at age 44, and has taught to countless people worldwide, as part of the “Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit Season 2,” including:

  • How to become a magnet for love
  • Techniques you can use to take control of your romantic destiny
  • Key steps to manifesting your soulmate
  • How to start preparing for your soulmate right now (it will help you attract him or her)

“I believe a soulmate is first and foremost somebody you can completely be yourself with,” Ford shared. “Somebody with who you share unconditional love, and someone who, when you look into their eyes, you feel like you’re home.”

Additionally, over the course of our lifetimes we have many soulmates — best friends, family members, coworkers and romantic partners — and there are a number of key steps we can take to attract a new romantic love soulmate. And we must be willing to put in a little time and effort.

She used the example of a single mother who was recently out of work. The mother would actively take steps to find another job. She would update her resume, go on interviews, and talk to others about finding a job. She wouldn’t be sitting at home saying “if it’s meant to be it will happen.” However, this is what most single women are doing when it comes to finding love. She encouraged people to get online, check out dating sites, ask friends for help, and put out into the universe the intention to find love.

Other barriers to finding love may be our own mental roadblocks or limited beliefs about it. “There are a lot of people locked into their story,” Ford shared, explaining sometimes women over 60 will get discouraged and quote statistics about how there are more women than men left in the dating pool. Or some women will tell themselves only once they lose weight will they find love. But Arielle’s mother-in-law found love online at age 80, and the average wedding dress size sold in the United States is a size 16, she said.

If you’re thinking you have to lose weight to find love, it isn’t true. You have to let go of that belief,” she said.


Step to Manifesting a Soulmate
Ford also shared the steps she used in order to find her own true love at the age of 44. They include:

Forgiveness — She decided to forgive herself for past relationships, and made a list of men who she’d judged as having done her wrong in some way, so she could forgive them as well. “Forgiving is not about forgetting what happened or condoning what happens, but it is about letting go,” she said.

Clarity — We need to be clear about what our heart and soul desires in a partner, which is not about making a shopping list, such as tall, blue eyes, athletic build, etc. It’s an honest assessment of what is important to us. To create her own list, Ford looked back at the men in her life and noted the qualities they had that she knew she wanted, and a list of things she didn’t want. The list can be as long or as short as you need it to be—it can be 10 or a 100 items, she said. Two important things that should be on everyone’s list are: “My soulmate is open, willing and available for a long-term committed, monogamous marriage or relationship.” And if we know we want children, that should be included as well. The second is to add “My soulmate already lives within 50 miles of my town or is willing to move,” unless we are looking to move as well.

She also recommends sitting down with a friend and reviewing the list so we get another perspective. For example, does he really need to be a CEO and concert-level pianist? Or can he be just an okay pianist? We want someone to question us as to whether the items on the list will contribute to our long-term happiness, and be sure we didn’t miss any deal breakers.

Release — Next, it’s time to release the list. This helps us become unattached to the outcome. Once Ford had her list, she wrote out another copy on nice stationary and burned it under the light of a new moon. To celebrate the release, she took herself out for lunch and ordered a glass of champagne—toasting her as yet unknown soulmate.

Vision Board — The final step is to create a vision board of your future. A collage of magazine clippings and images on a piece of poster board—a visual representation of the future you’re intending. We are not trying to manifest Brad Pitt or George Clooney, she explained, but rather a lifestyle. So include anything that evokes the feelings we are looking to manifest in a relationship, from a couple holding hands on a beach to a nice meal we would like to share together. This vision board helps focus our intentions and lets us manifest what our life together will look like.

Once we have all these steps completed, and we’ve created space for your future soulmate, the fun part begins. Now, Arielle said, “it’s a matter of waiting to see what the universe will bring you.”

For more from Ford and the other 25 experts in mind, body and spirit topics, sign up FREE to Season 2 of the Living an Elevated Existence Summit.


Arielle Ford Shares Secrets to Finding and Keeping Love

Are you single and dreading Valentines’s Day this year? Maybe you are in a committed relationship or even married, but struggling to make it work?

Best-selling author, Arielle Ford, shared her secrets for using the law of attraction to find the love of her life in the book, “The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction,” and now she is sharing the secrets to making a relationship last once you find that perfect partner in her newest book, “Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships.”

Elevated Existence interviewed Ford so she could share some tips for those who are still searching for love, as well as those who are searching for ways to make it last.

Elevated Existence (EE):  So many people who are single struggle through Valentines’s Day. What is something they can do different this year to start attracting their soulmate?

Arielle Ford: I believe a soulmate is someone with whom we can completely be ourselves. Someone with whom we share unconditional love and when we look into their eyes we have the experience of being home. With this definition you can quickly see that you ALREADY have many soulmates in your life … it could be your best friend, kids, siblings, co-workers, pets, etc. This Valentine’s Day celebrate the soulmates in your life, do something special for them.  By putting your focus and attention on the LOVE YOU ALREADY HAVE you become a magnet for even more love, especially the romantic love you are seeking.

EE: What is Wabi Sabi?

Ford: It is an ancient Japanese art form that honors all things old weathered, worn, imperfect and impermanent by finding the beauty in the imperfections. For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a light on the crack, or they might fill the crack with 24k gold!

“Wabi Sabi Love” is devoted to exploring the simple, fun and effective ways to apply this concept to our love relationships through stories and exercises that demonstrate how to attain groundbreaking shifts in perception so that you can embrace and find the beauty and perfection in each other’s imperfections. I call this “going from annoyed to enjoyed.”

EE: In “Wabi Sabi Love,” you explain that learning to love, or at least accept, what your partner loves or is passionate about can lead to a better relationship. What is the first step of making this change?

Ford: Make a decision to find a creative way that you can share their passion. For instance, Suzanne’s husband Bill loves to fly small airplanes … nearly every weekend. She often found this boring … until she decided to be in charge of the itinerary. Bill didn’t care where he was flying to, he just wanted to be in the air. So, Suzanne would research interesting destinations to fly to, for a meal or an entire weekend. Places where they could explore historical sites and art museums, two of her passions. It became a win/win for both of them.

EE: You believe couples should wear “rose-colored glasses” when it comes to seeing each other. Why?

Ford: Research by Sandra Murray a psychologist at the University of Buffalo, reveals that putting on “rose-colored glasses” and idealizing our partner actually leads to more happiness and satisfaction in relationship. In fact, the happiest couples focus on what’s right and not on what’s wrong. This is also known as the Pygmalion effect, the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. It’s a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. As mature adults, we get to choose our thoughts and beliefs; so why not intend and expect the best out of ourselves and our partners?

One disclaimer here – this is not an invitation to go into denial or accept bad behavior or harmful situations. In the event you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you are advised to seek professional counsel immediately.

EE: How can gratitude move a person from annoyed to a more accepting state in a partnership?

Ford: Gratitude comes from the heart not the head. When we drop into our heart and allow ourselves to feel the warm, positive emotions of gratitude, we can begin to release the more negative emotions of annoyance and frustration. Your partner does not wake up in the morning thinking of ways to drive you crazy. They, like you, want to be loved and accepted for who they are. Taking time to be grateful that you have a loving partner (in spite of their quirks) will enrich your relationship.

EE: How do you “go from annoyed to enjoyed” when your partner does something that truly makes you crazy?

Ford: First, you must be willing to make a shift in your perception and see your mate’s behavior through a new, gentler and kinder lens. Chances are, you see their behavior as “wrong or bad,” but imagine for a moment that this behavior exists solely to teach you how to become a more loving, compassionate person. Can you find the gift of that behavior?

One of my favorite stories in the book is about a couple named Ed and Deb. Ed loves to meet new people and tell silly jokes. Deb has heard all of these silly jokes a million times and is often annoyed because when they are out and about running errands she always ends up waiting for him while he is busy entertaining strangers. One day, after Deb found herself waiting for Ed befriending a lonely little boy sitting on the curb waiting for his mother. She heard Ed say to the boy, “How does a camel hid in the desert?” The boy gave him a quizzical look, and then Ed delivered the punch-line: “Camelflage.” With that , the boy burst into laughter just as his mother approached, giving Ed a big smile.

It was at that moment that Deb, after a decade of marriage, finally got Ed’s true nature. He wasn’t trying to make her crazy at all. He just wanted to make people happy. And on that day, Deb found the beauty and perfection in what once made her nearly insane!

For more on “The Soulmate Secret,” visit For more on Wabi Sabi Love, including exercises, visit