By Amy Leigh Mercree
For many of us, snow is falling and holiday cheer abounds, but what do you do if the season of celebration leaves you feeling flat and empty? Does the thought of more small talk at parties, and finding a New Year’s Eve date make you cringe and want to hibernate? You’re not alone! If you asked your friends their real feelings about this season some people would express emotions of obligation and wariness at the busy schedule, often imposed by well-meaning family and friends.
So how can we find a balance this season and give ourselves the message that we are worth having an enjoyable, joyful, relaxing time – and also take action to make that happen? A few simple changes in thinking and a couple self-nurturing actions will make a massive difference in your experience of the holidays.
First, ask yourself, “What does the holiday season mean to me?” Really delve into that. It might mean time off from work where you want to relax and have fun. It might signify spiritual renewal or have poignant religious significance for you.
Next ask yourself, “What holiday rituals are fun and meaningful for me?” This could be when just your immediate family lights the menorah together or decorates the tree. It could also be the couple hours you set aside to go surfing before family celebrations begin. Look at what part of those experiences really fuels you and prioritize that in your plans.
Lastly, ask yourself, “What do I wish I could do?” Go to Tahiti? Hibernate in a bubble bath with a romance series? Play touch football with my most relaxed friends? Go out for sushi? While you might not have the time or money for a Tahiti trip this year, you could set that as a five- or 10-year goal, and you could certainly carve out the time for bubble baths, a football game or sushi if you made your enjoyment a priority.
Why should your enjoyment a priority? Because you are an amazing, sacred, beautiful treasure just as you are! And you matter.
You must be the one to assert your importance in your life. It is important that you have fun. It is important that you are rejuvenated. It is important you get to relax this season if that is what you need.
Dating and Love
Everyone wants to throw dating in the mix at holiday time. You will see messages all over the media this season of mistletoe, romantic snow covered moments, and the mythical kiss at the stroke of midnight from fairy tales being enacted on New Year’s Eve. The reality of holiday time is many people are harried and rushed and trying to find meaning amid a storm of consumerism. So what if you just choose to be open to the heart energy that does get stoked at this time of year? What if you just let that flame warm you and allowed life to bring you whatever is for your highest good? How would that feel? Would that ease a pressure within?
If family members ask you about your love life, what if you said, “I am blissfully in love with myself, thank you for asking,” with a huge smile on your face?
Here is my “Survival Kit For the Holidays.” Do these things and you will be relaxed, centered, and happy this season!
1) Be kind. Firstly, to yourself. No negative self-talk, no admonishments for forgetting to send out cards. Just kindness in everything you say to yourself. And be kind to others 100-percent of the time Even when you are in the slowest line on the planet at the grocery store, practice serenity and be kind to the cashier instead of impatient and grouchy.
2) Open your heart to love. And that is it. Have no expectation about dates and such this time of year. Just give yourself a pass. Simply open your heart to the love from your nieces, nephews, pets, friends and grandma, and focus relentlessly on that love. Share your love. Say, “I love you,” to every family member and friend this season and deliver the words with a big hug and watch people soften and tension ease before your eyes.
3) Create and uphold at least two self-nurturing rituals on crucial days in your season. For example, for many years I have had a delicious Christmas morning breakfast in bed. When I was single, I would get up and make my waffles with berries and cream, and then bring them back to bed on a pretty tray that morning before turning the ringer on the phone back on. Now that I’m married I do the same thing, but my husband gets to enjoy the breakfast in bed too! You could have a favorite Christmas movie you wrap presents to on Christmas Eve while enjoying hot chocolate after giving yourself a peppermint oil foot massage. Or a home spa day on December 26th that is non-negotiable. You get the idea!
You have the power to nurture yourself, care for yourself, and through that focus, open your heart to real love. Then you will find yourself spiritually dating!
Happy season of self nurturing!
Amy Leigh Mercree is the author of “The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, & Soul Mates,” a Spiritual Dating & Relationship Coach, and a Medical Intuitive. For more fun articles and her dating advice column visit her blog and website:www.spiritualgirlsguide.com.